What to do when stuff Happens!
by John Alston
We do things in life for the experience. “Experience is not the best teacher, it is the only teacher.” It is from experiences that we really learn. With the experience, life demands that we grow. Frequently to get our attention it uses pain! So, growth is most like to occur when we are thrown off balance, given negative feedback, lose or fail, slip, slide or get hurt. Stuff happens, and we recover, shake it off and then we grow.
Growth is change, but all change is not growth. Some change comes with wear and tear, loss of vitality, disease and disorder as well. With the anticipation of things, all of us have expectations of one kind or another. Generally we all expect to succeed. Whatever one’s expectations sometimes one succeeds, sometimes one doesn’t. So expectations are not the key to achievement, preparation is!
Whether it's business, a relationship or a goal we've set for ourselves, all of us expect to win. So, remember, expectations, are not the key to success, and wishing for success changes nothing.
Preparation is the key. Twist and turns in life comes from dealing with things for which we could not prepare or being fully prepared for the things that we knew would happen! This is the stuff that gets out attention and places new demands on us!
Eventually we learn that if we lose we may hurt - BUT we don't have to suffer.
Pain is life's way of attracting our attention! Apart from the persistent burden of a disease or disorder, suffering comes from dwelling on things we've lost. Thwarted intentions, negatively comparing ourselves to others, and a host of self-defeating behaviors compound this suffering.
Sometimes we expect to win and we don't! Other times we expect to fail and we win! Human expectations are as normal as breathing. Meeting them is not the key to success, fulfillment, or happiness. Anything you do to fulfill your dreams and attain the favorable outcomes you desire has far less to do with expectations than with your careful preparation, focus and hard work!
Unreasonable expectations create suffering. Encountering unexpected obstacles is one thing; facing something we knew was going to happen, but which we failed to prepare for, is quite another.
If you are unhappy, whole and complete without a particular thing you want (money, material things, fame, or achievement), STOP and LOOK WITHIN. For what are you prepared?
True happiness comes from the quest to attain your goals: the journey. Complement your wants with preparation and realistic expectations. Balance your thinking by accepting the certainty of uncertainty. It's called, getting real!
Skills and Techniques
Set goals, and prepare to receive what you want. Move with the ball on the court, knowing that every shot you don't take will be a shot that you missed. You don't know for sure how the game will turn out, but there is no excuse for not taking your best shot when there's an opening.
Prepare for opportunities by establishing goals, planning and working hard. The loftier the goals, the greater must be your focus and discipline.
Remember, unfulfilled expectations are life's sense of humor! Every single attempt you make is preceded by an expectation of one sort or another. So, take a step back, gauge the challenge, prepare as if the outcome relied on your careful planning alone, and then go forth to meet the challenge!
John Alston Presents, Inc. 2004 All Rights Reserved.
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